It takes unflinching insight to examine your own personality rationally. Our perception of ourselves is often a fictional story that we write based on our own experiences and our resulting feelings about them. We rarely diverge from this story our whole lives. The key to finding out your true nature is to recognise what motivates you, and how you implement that in life. Sociopathic or empathetic tendencies would heavily influence these motivations.
I think we are all guilty of secretly wondering what others think of us, and how this view may differ from our own self image. How often have you wished you could be a fly on the wall while others discussed you. Logic dictates that we should know ourselves better than anyone else - but then again it is our interaction with others and the outside world that defines us, also we can hardly be impartial. So how accurate are our presumptions about ourselves? Do we question ourselves enough? Do we regularly take stock of our actions? Or are we conditioned not to delve to deeply into our own psyche for our own safety.
When I put myself under that microscope with brutal honesty I see a lot of things that I like and others I don't. While I do have a moral code - and I am strict with myself about this - the side effect of this is that I tend to believe I am better than those around me who I consider to have no code and no integrity, which is most people (in my opinion). I totally accept that this is arrogant and grandiose, but that doesn't change how I feel about it. Maybe I'm wrong - or at least by other peoples standards. About that I don't seem to care. On the other hand, because of this "moral code," I judge myself harshly when I don't live up to it myself. Does that change the arrogance or grandiosity? I don't think so, my attitude of superiority lacks any humility at all. And aren't we all supposed to be imitating the humility of Jesus Christ? Well that is just martyrdom in my opinion - which is really just a great big guilt trip "hey look at me, I'm going to get nailed to a cross and die because you have all been very very naughty". So no, I don't feel humility serves us any purpose at all, unless it is in a biblical sense.
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!
So, should we try and emulate the late JC? Not if it literally means getting nailed to a cross. But what about the metaphorical cross, how many times have you stood up for your convictions even if it went against the status quo, is this selfless martyrdom? Or another form of arrogance and self righteousness? While Jesus travelled the countryside doing selfless acts for others, he also made himself a leader, with followers. Does one not contradict the other? This is my point, what we think about ourselves on the one hand can be entirely contradicted from another point of view.
Here is another example, I hate dishonesty in any form. So I pride myself on total honesty, and while I feel this is a good thing (one of my better traits), some of my friends would disagree. "Do I look fat in this dress?"......."Yes, I'm afraid to say you do." What would be the point in saying any different? Letting your friend go out looking like an over-stuffed sausage would be far worse, wouldn't it? I have been called cruel, callous, tactless, mean, selfish - but in my opinion I am doing the world a favour. So is my self analysis accurate? Or am I just kidding myself. This is how easily we can create a fictional character in our heads that we think we are, but is nothing like the person we really are.
So, who are we really? Should we stop worrying about what we are like and just be? Or are we obligated to keep self assessing and improving. Is it necessary to know if we are sociopaths, empaths, passive aggressive, oppositional defiant, etc etc. Do those labels totally define us? Does being aware of those labels change us? Or can we be masters of our fate, to decide for ourselves what we are really like.
Gollum: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
Smeagol: No. Not master!
Gollum: Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
Smeagol: Master is our friend!
Gollum: You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!
Smeagol: I'm not listening... I'm not listening...
Gollum: You're a liar and a thief.
Smeagol: Go away!
Gollum: "Go away?"
Smeagol: I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum: Where would you be without me, gollum, gollum? I saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!
Smeagol: Not anymore.
Gollum: What did you say?
Smeagol: Master looks after us now. We don't need you anymore.
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back!
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back!
Smeagol: LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK!
Smeagol: We told him to go away... and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!