Sunday, January 23, 2011

Killing Roosters - the Real Test

My breathing is steady but my heart is still racing, I feel strangely calm.  Looking down at my hands, I see there are still some feathers attached.   Something is wrong not.....kill.....

But I did.

So, you stupid MF rooster, you got the better of me, a few too many early mornings for my liking, lack of sleep will do that to you.  Now another pea brained feathered freak has taken your place, so is it CSI for the chicken coup tomorrow morning also?  I think its my neighbour who needs to be dealt with first, the one who's rooster thinks he lives at my house, subsequently impregnating all my eggs, leaving me inundated with baby chickens (most of which turned out to be fecking fricking roosters).  So if I can throttle a rooster, punching a full grown man in the face shouldn't be a problem...... right?

Should I feel bad? Cos I don't.  The biggest thing I've killed other than a blowfly was a bird, on my windscreen.  I felt bad because birds are pretty and un-annoying.  This was different, that rooster needed to go.

I can still feel the warmth of him on my fingers.  It was too easy, he never understood that I was the reaper, until it was too late.  I grabbed him by the tail, I hesitated, not sure....but then thought fuck it, I'm over your crowing, you miserable little testosterone filled sleep destroyer.  His neck was too easy to break, grab, pull twist.  Someone must have told me that once.....

And his protege still crows, can I do it again?


  1. See if the protege is just as bad. If so, disappear it. IE, dig a hole for it (deep) and then kill it (not the other way around).

  2. I have a kindhearted cold-blooded killer coming to deal with the rest of my baby roosters tonight. I have 12 of them (well 11 now) and for the past month they have been practcing crowing at 2am in the morning.....till dawn. Which is what drove me to kill one....

  3. Did you choke your chicken?

  4. yep, I choked it, and broke its neck, both... was that a loaded question?